464. "I Must Be Broken"

On this epidoe, Nellie discusses the challenges and misconceptions of ADHD, emphasizing it is a real and challenging condition, not a trend. She shares her personal journey of feeling broken before diagnosis, the impact of medication, and the importance of self-care, including walking, hydration, sleep, and a structured environment. She highlights the benefits of medication and non-medication strategies, such as walking, which she finds therapeutic. She encourages self-advocacy, understanding one's needs, and seeking professional help if needed. Nellie aims to empower others with ADHD to live fulfilling lives, emphasizing kindness, compassion, and self-acceptance.

We will touch on:

• ADHD Awareness and Personal Experience
• Impact of ADHD Diagnosis and Medication
• Non-Medication Coping Strategies
• Support and Communication
• Encouragement and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Unknown: 1:23

Okay, first girl talk. Uh, my hair has come a long way. If you've been here for a minute, I am, though, looking forward to when it's past the shoulders, because it does this, like little hair, flippy thing, and it drives me crazy. That's okay, we're gonna let it drive you crazy, because nothing is harder than when it's like a mullet and like a bowl cut that was not sexy, that was not fun. So anything is better than that era, anywho. Let's get to the more serious topic. So you know, there's lots of funny ADHD memes and gifts and jokes, you know, toss around the internet and like, you know, sometimes we'll even poke fun at ourselves. And I just wanted to also stress that, like, ADHD is not a trendy thing. It's not the cool thing. It is a real thing, and it is very challenging. I think it's even more challenging if you don't know that you have ADHD. Like, it's all hard, and it's not a competition. But, like, just for my own comparison, like, when I didn't know that I had ADHD, I truly thought it was broken. I thought it had to be so hard to be successful. Like, of course, this is everyone's normal, like, even when I was in grade school, you know, getting good grades felt so hard to me, studying for tests, finishing a project for school, you know, and doing the test and, you know, sticking to my commitments and all The things every everything big and small, felt so hard, and I just that's all that I ever knew. And I didn't know that I had ADHD. So I just felt like, well, if I want to be super successful, which I am, a big dreamer, I have always been a big dreamer. I will always be a big dreamer. I choose to be a big dreamer because, you know, we've got one life everything that we wanted to be, and I don't want to have regrets, like I want to live as long as I can and have no regrets. I think it's that that creates a much more peaceful life now and in the future. And so before I knew that I had ADHD, just felt broken, and I felt like, well, if I know that I want big goals and dreams, I'm just going to have to suck it up buttercup and pedal to the metal. I had so many launches where I was just so so so exhausted, and I think that led to lots of anxiety, hit lots it led to lots of mental health challenges, and it's just a reminder that you never know what somebody is going through behind closed doors, internally, right? Like not everyone is always sharing every little detail of how they're feeling. And this is why I just strive to create kindness and create compassion and choose love as much as I can, like even in hard times or challenging times or conflict, I really strive as much as I possibly can to choose kindness, choose love, to choose compassion. You can still have boundaries and do it in a loving way, right? And so I think a big part of that is because there's so many people that you wouldn't know have challenges, and they never share, right? And so you just again, you just never ever know. So I think if you get anything away from this video, like, let's just try to be a little bit more kind. Like that goes a long way, and I think it's the right thing to do, and it it just means the world to people, whether they have ADHD or not. And so ever since I got diagnosed, I finally feel like I'm living, like there's still times that are challenging, like my medication just finally got to me. I had to wait until my appointment to get a refill, and, yeah, there was just, like, a lot of things that needed to happen, and vacation and all the things. And so I have been off of my medication, and it's life has felt a little challenging. If I'm being honest, it hasn't felt so easy. And I even was talking to a mom not too long ago, and she's like, I just don't want to have to depend on medication. And I get that. And equally, I love that there's something out there that does support me, and what a big blessing that is. And so it's not necessarily that I depend on it. That's a lack mindset really, right? I like to step into abundance, which is the whole theme for this this month. And I love to step into abundance and say, like, what a freaking blessing that my prescription came. You know that I have this medication that. I'm able to take it, I'm responsible with it. It genuinely helps me. It helps make things easier for me. And what a big blessing, right? And so I think, you know, obviously medication is always a personal choice, and outside of medication, there's so many things that support me. So I did want to share those. And if you have any questions on how I got evaluated, I have lots of resources happy to you know, answer any and all of your questions as much as I possibly can. I'm not a medical provider, so please always consult your medical provider, but I can share girlfriend to girlfriend, what has worked for me, where I got evaluated, you know, all of those things. But I thought I would share some of the things outside of medication that really helped me, because medication isn't the end all be all so walking totally smokes. When I say walking has been therapy and medication, I mean it, oh my goodness, I have literally created more energy, more clarity, more endorphins by freaking walking. I don't know why I thought I always had to do a hard workout, but at the beginning of July, I was just like, what if I just walked every single day, and I made a challenge to do 10,000 steps, and that led to literally a whole new world, like cue, the cue, the song, a whole new world. And I didn't want to stop like I equally love walking outside, just the fresh air, the grounding of the the actual ground. It just there's nothing better. Like I am looking forward to when we drop off Emma at school, which starts next week, which feels crazy to me, but I have a vision of like Boone and I going and getting a walk in the in the morning, because I towards the end of the day, I do like to start, like, unwinding, so a walk can help do that. But like, I still would love to just like, spend some time with Emma, especially with her going back to school, like her bedtime is going to be much, much earlier. So it will be more beneficial and back to school time, if Boone and I can get a walk in in the morning, which I do love, which I want to do, like parks as much as we can, just like changing, change up the environment. So walking has been huge, water has been huge, as much sleep as I can. So like, not last night, but the night before, I did not get a good night of sleep, and I wasn't on my medication, and I felt significantly different than I do right now. So sleep severely impacts people with ADHD. So sleep is huge, also switching up my environment, which I kind of mentioned earlier, also huge, because I, like people with ADHD, don't naturally produce dopamine, so switching up the environment can be like this dopamine wretch. It can be nice and fun and exciting. So that's been huge. Cleaning has also been helpful for me, cleaning and organizing, because my brain loves structure and organization has been huge, and paying attention to my energy, so there's like, going to be highs with your ADHD, at least for me, and there's going to be lows. So like, paying attention to those has been really helpful for me to, like, notice when I have a high, and when I have a low, as far as, like, the energy with ADHD, and then, like, leaning into it, regardless if it's like the high moment or the low moment, and just giving myself what I need, obviously good nutrition. So like, my green strength, like I took that sucker today, even before my medication came, I was like, Oh my gosh, I feel so good. I feel so good. So it's just like the basics go a long way. And I won't shut up about the basics, whether it's basics in business, the basics with health and fitness, the basics with literally anything they work when we work them, then add in, like, all the extra, like, frilly things. So, like, now I bought like, an ab roller that I'm going to, like, do some ab work. But like, that wasn't the first thing that I went to like, it was getting the strong, strong foundation of everything first. So I just wanted to share some of the things that were, you know, easier to talk about versus do in the post. But if you are already diagnosed and you need support, I'm here just ask questions. I think the more you know yourself and you just lean in to who you naturally are, it really does make a world of a difference, and not apologizing for it. So. Like, our family has been so much stronger because I've, like, literally just communicated certain things, like, Hey, could you pause the TV when you're talking to me? Because, if not, everything feels like it's so loud and I can't even process what you're saying to me. And so it's like, speaking up for ourselves is really important. If you are not diagnosed, and you feel like, Oh my gosh. I actually kind of think I have ADHD. I think it can be literally life changing to get diagnosed and then create a treatment plan. I don't think you need to get diagnosed to honor if you have ADHD, but it can help, especially if you want, like a professional treatment plan of any sort, so and I think it's just validation of like, okay, I'm not going crazy, so I see you. I love you. You're not broken, you're just different. And I can't tell you how many times I've said that to myself, I'm not broken, I'm just different. And my goal is to help other women that are different and show them that you can live a really awesome life, you can be super happy, you can make a lot of money, and I will not shut up about the things that can change people's lives, because that's what I'm here to do. And it's been just so empowering. Every time somebody tells me, Oh my gosh, you changed my life. I needed this, and I didn't wait for that validation, but it does. It's like little nudges. So I am incredibly grateful if you take the time to do that. I don't expect it. You don't need to do it, but it does mean the world to me. And if you have questions, I don't want you to feel like if only I had somebody to ask questions to so put me up in the DMS. I love you so much. You're not broken. You're just different. So be different, celebrated. Do what you need to do to live your happiest, healthiest, wealthiest life. Okay, hey.